Hiccup on this Snowball, Ragamuffin

We've been on this frugal/debt repayment/whatever thing for almost two years now. And in that time, we've paid down some debt, added a family member, and didn't add any new debt. And that's been really good.

But my clothes were looking really bad, people. And I'm not kidding. FRUMPY.

And yesterday, after finding out my freelance work will be sticking around for awhile (YAY!), SuperDad took me shopping. And $215 later, I have a whole new wardrobe. I bought 5 pairs of pants, 3 skirts, and 9 shirts. Woo! I'm really excited to have nice clothes again, and I think it's worth the little hiccup in the snowball to make sure I don't look like a ragamuffin at work. ;)

A Snowball's Chance in...

The bad news:

• Due to certain changes (to pay schedule, benefits alterations, and - mostly - losing a freelance gig), our monthly income has been reduced by $551 per month.
• This change reduces our debt snowball from $718 a month to $167 a month.
• Plus, we've had to stop the snowball repeatedly to cover other expenses. Like $1,300 to fix the van. Like to have a baby (the LAST baby, silly, not a NEW baby - yet, ha). Like to reshingle the house this summer. Like the curtains I bought and haven't hung up. Gah.
• Meanwhile, we've run up against our biggest debt yet, the student loans. They currently have a balance of $15,553. It's like chipping away at a granite wall with a fork. A plastic fork.

The good news:

• Boy am I glad we were snowballing that money in the first place! Imagine if I had to cut $551 out of our actual budget.
• I'm also glad we were snowballing at all, since we're in a much better financial situation than we were two years ago.
• Those expenses? The van, the grumpy baby, the curtains? We've cashflowed them. No new debt, and that's a great thing, yes?

While I'd like to be making more/faster progress on paying off the debt, I think it's time to redefine "success" around here. Sometimes, in some seasons of our lives (and the economy), just keeping our heads above water is a success. Glug glug.

Life With Three

Well, since you asked... (okay, no one asked, who am I kidding?). Life with three kiddos under five is going swimmingly. And by that I mean, I'm swimming in noise and messes and love and smoochable cheeks. Awww.

BUT... It's kind of like sticker shock, really. Our life, it's expensive these days. I bought groceries (from the local grocery store thankyouverymuchenoughwiththeguiltalready) for the week for $87. Okay, not TOO bad. But then. Then I "had" to go to Wal-Mart. And when the cashier said, "That will be $98 please," I almost swallowed my tongue. $98! But! I didn't even buy anything!

My shopping list was:
Frozen chicken breast
Taquitos (ahem)
Kid toothpaste (which I didn't buy and have to go to the natural foods store for, ca-ching)
Diapers ($30! When will we switch back to cloth? WHEN?)
Dishwasher detergent
39 gallon garbage bags
Shampoo (we recently tried the baking soda/vinegar thing, and NO. Just, NO.)
Pop (yeah, yeah, I know)
Canola oil
Treats for school (bananas and chocolate milk)
Cat food

Okay, so I maybe could have skipped the taquitos ($6ish) and the diapers ($30) and the pop ($9). Which brings us down to a respectable $62. Oh yeah, and the stuff I bought that wasn't even on the list: clearance tights for E ($3.50 for two pairs), three candy bars ($1.92) and a Mountain Dew (enough with pop already!), and we're down to about $55.

Okay, add the candy bars back in. I'm not made of stone, people. ;)

Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway

RonaldJ asked about how we categorize things that aren't "food" into our budget. The truth is, if you can buy it at Wal-Mart, AND it's something we regularly buy (laundry detergent, shampoo, etc.), then it's in our food category. Maybe we shouldn't call it a food category. But I can't get myself to call it a Wal-Mart category, because then I'd have to throw up. (I've found we mostly can't avoid Wal-Mart. The convenience of having to make only one shopping trip when you have three kiddos under five just outweighs everything else. I'm sorry. We do spend a lot of money on gluten-free stuff from various local stores, for whatever that is worth.)

However, things we don't "regularly" buy, would fall into maybe the Home improvement or Clothes/books category. Like the mailbox our mailman probably very much wishes we would finally get around to buying.

But, you know, your mileage may vary.

Who wants to get a song stuck in their head for the rest of the day? You do!

Weekend

We've instituted three new days of the week around here:
1) Qdoba Fridays. Do I need to say more about that? I think not.
2) Pizza Saturdays. I've been working on a pizza crust recipe, tweaking it a little every week. I'll let you know.
3) Mom Shops All By Herself Sundays - BEST! EVER! Yesterday I made it to the local department store, where I bought lots of stuff. My rule is that I never pay more than $5 for an item of clothing for the kids (I'll pay $10 for a dress, which really counts as top and bottom.), and I had lots to choose from yesterday. Though it broke my heart a little to have to hop across the aisle and shop in the Big Boy section for D. Aw, mah baybeee... My favorite brands are Osh Kosh and Carter's, and anything not Hannah Montana. :)

The lovely and talented Sarah of Everyday Gluten Free said, "I'd love to hear how you got from separate checking accounts to where you are today!"

The marriage of one Gluten Free Frugal and one SuperDad is a mysterious and magical thing. HA ahhh ha ha! What I mean by that is, "Uh, I don't really remember."

Back in the day, I felt pretty strongly about each of us taking responsibility for our "own" stuff. I had MY money and he had HIS money and never the twain should meet. We were both making minimum wage or just above. I was a seller of movie tickets and he was an artist of sandwiches. That year, for my birthday, he bought me candy bars and crossword puzzle books. (BTW, do I remember what he bought me last year for my birthday? I do not. But I was thrilled with the candy bars. Actually, who isn't thrilled with candy bars? Crazy people, that's who.)

Time passed. Blah blah. It happened to be that I was making more money that he was. Like, by double. And splitting everything evenly wasn't really working anymore. Plus, I believe now, marriage isn't a "split" thing, it's a "share" thing. There shouldn't be "his" and "mine," there should be "ours" (except the comic books, I don't really want those, but thanx, mmmkay?), and so we put it all together. And that made moving to one income so much easier.

Now SuperDad is a very excellent type of person, and he doesn't spend money on silly things (well, other than comic books), and we all know that I'm ultra cheap a very reasonable shopper. So, that helps us, as far as that goes.

If there's one single thing a couple can do to succeed with money, it's to get on the same page.

And how are things going? A) I wrote a check for the entire cost of my braces (which will be reimbursed through my flex spending account). They asked if they should wait to cash the check, and I said, "Nope. It will be fine." How cool is that? B) It took SuperDad 10 days to pick up a paycheck. I asked what he wanted to do with it, and he said, "Whatever." A paycheck that we don't *need*? What is that?

These things didn't happen because we have so much money (BWAHAHA! As if!), but because we're on top of the money we do have. And that? Rocks!

The end. (Who is sorry she asked? Sarah is! Hee.)

Not Perfect - FAR From It!

I hope this blog never gives the impression that I've got it all together. I SO don't. Anyone who has ever met me in real life (or, you know, seen my kitchen floor) knows all about that. Sometimes I think blogs paint such a rosy picture of someone's life (which, for the sake of fostering gratitude, I'm all for!), but sometimes it makes other people feel intimidated, or not good enough, or whatever.

I make mistakes all the time. We go over the budget, ALL the time. I'm definitely not Super Mom! Every day, my to-do list is about twice as long as what I actually accomplish. Some days, I don't even find the time to make a to-do list.

I watch too much TV, and I eat too much junk food, and I spend money on stuff I don't need (fancy coffee drinks much?). I haven't made my bed in months.

BUT. I'm trying. Always, always trying. I want, very much, to be a good mom. I want to live within our means and I want to always have gratitude for my many, many blessings. I never want to think I deserve more than I've earned. And this blog, I hope, is about that struggle.

So thanks, for keeping me honest.

Want

The problem I always have with being able to live within our means has a lot more to do with managing my "wanting" impulses than my ability to budget (you know, subtract). For me, it's always like those old cartoons of an angel and a devil on your shoulders, "Don't buy that. You can't afford it." vs. "You deserve a little treat every once in awhile, don't you?" Also, I think that devil lives at Target. Seriously.

Last night, I got home from work kind of late. And SuperDad wasn't feeling very well. And we all wanted to just go get some takeout (Qdoba! Woot!). But then I looked in our cash envelope. $105 to last us until NEXT Thursday. And we're running out of groceries. And the van needs gas. Sure, we could go spend $20 on Qdoba, but then what? Then try to spend $20 less on groceries? Good luck. I know we'd end up borrowing from next pay period, and we all know where that leads.

So, I bit the bullet (what IS that expression anyway?), sat the kids down with a yogurt "appetizer" and made soup and french fries (seriously, cupboard is bare, people). And it felt good.

Christmas: All Wrapped Up

I did something you should never, never do. I kept track of all of our Christmas spending. We had saved $504 to spend on Christmas this year. We spent... gulp... $1,300. Not counting food or travel expenses. This includes our 3 kiddos, 17 adults, and 7 children. Thankfully, we simply spent money that had been saved for my maternity leave but not spent, but still. Seriously.

Anyway, I wanted to wish everyone a really super Christmas this year! Loves, GFF

Baby Stuff Worth the Money

The Natural Mommy has a great post up today about how to save money on babies. The funny thing is that, in the area of babies especially, making the most frugal choice is often the best choice for other reasons too (for example, breastfeeding is free but also the best and healthiest choice for your baby).

I've been working on a similar list, of those things that, on baby #3 have proven to be well worth the money that I (or, you know, grandma) spent on them.

1. The Evenflo BabyGo Playard - Maybe any pack n play style of bed would have done just as well, and it doesn't appear they even make the "BabyGo" version anymore, but all three of our kids spent most of their first year spending at least part of the night in ours. I love that it fits nicely in our bedroom and that we can bring it when we travel so that baby always has a familiar place to sleep.
2. Our king-sized bed, for more room when baby does join me in bed. Okay, so we didn't have this one until Baby #3, but it has been NICE. Really nice.
3. Chinese prefolds. When we did (do?) cloth diapering, these are great. The rest of the time, they make awesome burp rags, spill-catchers, face-wipers, changing pads, and whatever else you can think of.
4. The Medela Pump-in-Style. Worth every penny.
5. This. Ha ha, it's hilarious, I know. But on days that I forget it, I never pump as much milk because I can't stand just sitting there. With it, I can read or work or at least change the darn channel on the TV.
6. The Avent Isis manual pump, as a backup. It fits in my purse for airport travel, girl's night out, or any just-in-case time. Okay, so I have a big purse. But still.
7. As for toys, this (or an older version, actually) is the only one that I can say has been pretty universally loved and long-lived (well past the "recommended" ages), both for our first two kids and anyone that comes over.
8. The bedrail. When baby is in our bed, she sleeps between me and the bedrail. It's safer for the baby, but it does make changing the sheets a pain. ;)

In light of a story like this, I think it's worth mentioning that 90% of what we spend on babies unnecessary. But that they have enough of eat? Kind of matters. Duh? And that free hospital formula we have sitting in the cupboard will be making it's way to the food pantry tomorrow.

Christmas Shopping

We started saving for Christmas in January. It has been really, really great to actually have some cash on hand instead of trying to eke Christmas out of our regular budget.

Thanks to the fact that they never see commercial television (oh, don't get me wrong, they see WAY too much PBS Kids, sigh), we haven't yet been inundated with requests for Hannah Montana or Barbie or... uh, whatever boys like. Instead I hand-picked a few catalogs and let them make a collage Christmas list.

Our favorites:
www.novanatural.com
www.lbtoys.com
www.youngexplorers.com
www.hearthsong.com

They made some excellent choices, I think, and I might be just as excited for Christmas as they are! :)

Spend Less. Give More.

Falling Off the Frugal Wagon

Okay, and moving on! :)

The end of pregnancy (hey, I thought we were moving on?) is always rough for me. I'm tired. Unmotivated. Uncomfortable. And, oh yeah, I had to put on 4 shirts this morning before I found one that even remotely fit. And that's kind of a stretch - literally.

Frugality takes organziation and committment, neither of which I have right now. So, we've done some decidedly UNfrugal things lately. Like:

• Eat out. A lot. When we eat out with the kids, it mostly involves cheeseburgers, plain, with no buns. And fries. Or we'll go to Taco John's and get them the chicken that comes in the soft tacos, with no shell, covered in cheese. They like that. We've done Qdoba. We let them have hashbrowns for breakfast. As you can tell, we've WAY overdone our food budget.
• Hire a cleaning person! Is there anything more unfrugal than that? Not really. Do I care? Not at all. She's coming in at least once before the baby arrives, maybe twice, and if I can talk SuperDad into it, maybe a couple of times after too.
• Bought a tree. You know, for the baby.
• Signed D up for some classes at the community center. Because E is back in school now, and he misses her. :(
• Not done cloth diapers. According to my very informal survey, gluten in diapers shouldn't be a concern. There are other great reasons to do cloth, and we'll probably go back to it eventually. But not now.

We're dipping into the savings we built up for the baby. And I'm okay with that, because sometimes that's just how it goes.

Our gluten free eating has been anything but blog-worthy lately. Our menu this week:

• Sunday: Scrambled eggs, ham, peanut butter toast, grapes
• Monday: Nachos, corn, beans
• Tuesday: Chicken nuggets
• Wednesday: Spaghetti
• Thursday: French toast
• Friday: Macaroni and cheese and baked beans
• Saturday: Scalloped potatoes and ham

So this blog may not be very inspirational for awhile, but if you stick around long enough, I promise to show you baby pictures! :)

Christmas in August

Today I've been thinking about Christmas.

Last year, we spent $170 on our two children. Of all the things that we bought (PJs and books and dolls and DVDs), there are three items that they still play with or use regularly:

• A handcrank flashlight
• A teddy bear that became D's #2 lovey
• This ukulele

So, $52 worth. Sigh.

We have been saving for this Christmas since January and while I know we'll never be at 100%, I hope to do better than 31% spending still be in usage. The real problem, I find, is that the toys with the "wow factor" aren't at all the ones that make it over time.

Anyone else thinking about Christmas?

In Response :)

Stacey asked:
I always tend to overbuy and end up with things I needed for an earlier child but don't need for the new one. Do you think it's bad to wait on certain purchases until we need them? Like diapers or medicine? My first daughter used a pacifier. When preparing for a second I bought them to match all her outfits. However she would never use one. None of my kids since would take one. I am trying to convert into only buying what I need from buying everything. However I have this nagging urge to just have everything so I am ready for anything. How do you bypass this?



Hm. Well, for starters I'm super cheap. I have a hard time buying the big bag of rice, even though I *know* we'd use it. So far, for the baby, I've only bought things that experience tells me I *will* need again. But if the buying bug gets you, you can always just leave the tags on and return things you didn't need?



I actually struggle with this kind of thing all the time, from the opposite end, because I feel like I should be "stocked up" and I never am. I'd rather clean out our pantry/diaper basket/toothpaste tube entirely before spending money on more.



That wasn't a good answer, I'm afraid! :)



Jamie (who is giving away an awesome prize pack on her blog!) said:



I do want to know what kind of coupons you used and what store you did this at!!!! I sooooo want to learn the tricks of multiple coupon use...



I am so not the go-to person on coupons (go here for that). I never, never, never, never, never use them. But my good friend Amy sent me this link:


[Updated 7/30/08 - Coupons removed, since our local Target decided they were "fraudulent." What? Just because I found something on the Internets and then posted it on my blog it's not totally legit? Whatevs. Tell it to Al Gore, yo. ]

(Amy has printed off and used these coupons more than once!)

And then I looked through all those free baby magazines they always send me and found THREE more Target coupons for the Pamper diapers/wipes set.

This is a feat that will likely never be repeated in my life. :)


Sarah said:

I never realized that a baby is so expensive! Babies need a ton of stuff, don't they?!

I kind of feel bad about the baby-expenses tracking. My original intention was to show how cheap a baby is. You know, $10 added on to the grocery bill for diapers and you're done. I, too, am surprised by how expensive it has been for us.

I should point out a couple of mitigating factors, however:

1. Babies of working moms cost more. You have to buy a pump and bottles and dressy maternity clothes and I have a theory that an at-home mom might go through fewer nursing pads, but... I don't really know. Additionally, I think it would be fair to say that, even if you breastfeed, most working moms cannot pump enough to keep up with baby's needs, and can expect to do at least some supplementation with formula (though I was lucky enough not to have this problem myself). So, even though we don't have to pay for daycare, I think it's still more expensive to have an at-home dad than an at-home mom.
2. With your first baby, you'll get tons of presents! People bought us pretty much everything we needed. Clothes, car seat, high chair, toys, etc. However, now that we're on our third kid, the gift well has run dry, a lot of our stuff is worn out and/or expired and/or proven unsafe (bottles, possibly car seat), PLUS this baby is arriving a season off from her sister and can't wear any of the same clothes. Inconvenient, that.
3. Almost half of what I've personally spent so far has been on my progesterone shots. Which almost no one else needs. On the other hand, I do not pay the premiums on our health insurance. I think most people have probably spent at least $400 on health insurance premiums in the 6 months I've been pregnant. So, still a bargain!
4. Use cloth diapers. We did completely for our first, and actually really liked it. Why we don't anymore? Lots of reasons, mostly because our washing machine is a PIECE OF JUNK, even though we bought it BRAND NEW just a couple of years ago. GRRRR. (Hey, you know what would have made more sense than a new leather couch? Oh, a washing machine.)

Anyway, I just didn't want anyone to see that tally at the right and think they couldn't afford a baby. All babies really, really need is love, your arms, mom's milk, some swaddling clothes, and a car seat (if you have a car!). The rest is icing.

LeeAnn (oh my gosh, does she not have the most beautiful red hair?) said:

If you have diapers, clothes, blankets and the stuff you bought over the weekend, you're probably set, right?

Uh... ;) Pretty much. On my list still are:

• New nursing bras (which I should have bought before my LAST baby, because mine are really shot now!),
• A bottle warmer (yet another working-mom expense there),
• Car seat (which we borrowed from my SIL who is also pregnant now, also it might be expired, we have to check),
• Double stroller (how did our Graco Duo Glider get SO SO trashed in just 2 1/2 years? Lots of use, and lots of shoving it into the trunk of a Corolla? We're thinking about getting a Sit 'n' Stand Deluxe, if anyone has any experience.)
• Evening primrose oil and red raspberry leaf supplements (I took these at the end of my pregnancy last time, as I'd read they help prepare your body for labor. Not sure if they did anything, but my labor was only 5 hours. Worth it? YES.)
• Fish oil capsules. (I've heard that taking fish oil after the birth of a baby helps ward of post partum depression. Worth a try? YES. )
  

Are any of these items "needs"? Nah, probably not. But is this baby worth a little splurging? Yes she is. :)

Wow that got long! Sorry!

Bargain Hunting vs. Making Do ALSO GF Core

So. One place I really struggle with frugality is bargain hunting. When I see what I think is a good deal on something I might need in the future, it's hard for me to pass that up. Even if it isn't something we need right now.

Like, a leather couch.

And the thing is, half the time if I would have waited until we actually were at the point of needing something, the thing shows up anyway.

Like, the dresser my parents just brought over. Do you know how hard it was to wait for that dresser? Do you know how many dressers I looked at and considered buying? Argh.

Gluten Free Core Update: For the first time in many, many weeks, I maintained my weight this week on Core (I used double the Weekly Allowance Points). Woo! However, apparently, resistence is futile in the face of Cocoa Pebbles and I expect a gain to reflect that this week.

Last night we had Ham Not Fried Rice (brown rice, lean ham, scrambled eggs, salt and pepper, soy sauce OR fat free cheese) and steamed carrots. Yummers.

Frugalocity: I had a pile of clothes in my room. Clothes with stains I couldn't get out. So I sent SuperDad to the store with three dollars and asked him to buy me some "light brown liquid Rit dye" please. And he did. Except it was tan, which he says was the only variety of brown they had. Okay. So last night I dyed a whole bunch of clothes tan. Which is convenient, since most of those stains came from chocolate milk anyway. Some things turned out better than others. I definitely saved at least 10 items though, which is pretty cool. For $3.

Consigning

I had planned to do a rummage sale this year. And then got completely a) overwhelmed with the work of it and b) grossed out by the idea of sitting in my hot garage all day. So 90% of our stuff was donated to the church rummage sale, and I took some of the best baby stuff to the kids consignment store.

(Why am I getting rid of baby stuff with a new baby on the way? - Mostly it was duplicates, things that will be out of season for this baby, and things I just didn't use.)

Anyway.

I went back yesterday and I had $21 in store credit to use. And they were having a sale. So I got three outfits for the baby and five shirts for D. And I've still got $6 in store credit left. Yay! I'll definitely be repeating that experience! (And I'm not adding those outfits to the "cost of the baby" on the sidebar, since they didn't really cost me anything!)

Doing Without

Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without

Towards the end of Farmer Boy is a story about how the cobbler didn't get to the Wilders house on time. And so the three eldest children had to go to school with last year's shoes. They'd had to completely slice Royal's boots open along the sides to let out his feet, which had outgrown them. His socks stuck out and his feet were cold.

In the age of Wal-Mart, we don't often feel like we need (or should have) to go without.

There are a few times when I've gone without, though there were always extenuating circumstances.

• There were times when I had a limited wardrobe, like at the end of a pregnancy or while traveling. Used to having lots of options, it was always uncomfortable to wear the same one or two pairs of pants for days on end.
  
• There have also been times of snowstorms when we didn't have food in the house - or food we couldn't access or cook because we didn't have power. Which is really just poor planning on our part. Which continues. What do we have in the house right now that we could eat? A can of peaches. Some soup (cold, I guess, ew). The pantry is pretty bare here.
• Anything else???

I'd love to hear about times you had to go without, for whatever reason. Comment or blog it and link back! :)

Home Economics

What did you learn in home economics in school? Let's see... I sewed a pillow. I made something called lemonade pie. I planned a wedding. I teamed-up on a parenting project with a student who insisted there was absolutely nothing wrong with propping a 4-month-old baby in front of the TV all day. (????) I refused to carry a sack of flour around for a week and instead wrote a book report on teen pregnancy.

I enjoyed my home economics classes and I learned and did some useful things.

BUT... did anyone here (or anywhere?) learn how to make a budget? Write a check? Make change? (After all, it was supposed to be the economics of a home, no?) How about learning the ability to look at your food budget and then make a menu based on what you could afford? How about shopping for deals at the grocery store so you can eat better than you can afford? Discussing whether it was/is economically feasible to sew anymore, by the time you pay for the pattern and the fabric and the notions and... hey, did you ever hear of a thrift store? How about learning instead how to make your clothes last longer by knowing how to launder them correctly and to patch holes and remove stains?

Maybe they assume we already know these things. My mom certainly didn't learn these things in school. And it was from her (and by my own trial-and-error) that I learned most of them. But what about *our* kids? Do enough people from my generation know these things to teach their children? What do you do when faced with a smaller-than-normal grocery budget? Because I hope I can teach my kids that the answer in that situation isn't just calling on Visa.

100 Things

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1812048,00.html

This great article discusses the 100 Thing Challenge, something that really inspires me.

Though *me* isn't so much the problem, as I'm an ardent tosser myself (hi, college roommate, sorry for throwing away those concert tickets before you used them, they were cluttering up my desk, you know).

It's the kid stuff that gets me. The toys that were gifts. The clothes stored in future sizes and past sizes for future kids. Or possible future kids. The books upon books upon books. How can books be a bad thing? (This is easily answered on my behalf - I happily let the library store my books and Netflix store my movies and my MP3 player store my CDs, but...)

Could you ever live with just 100 things? Because I'm sure 100 things (or 50?) would have seemed an unbelievable luxury to the Ingalls family. (Though I'm finding the Wilder family to be quite from a different eschelon, socially. THREE barns? An eat-in kitchen AND a dining room? Fan-cy!)