Hiccup on this Snowball, Ragamuffin

We've been on this frugal/debt repayment/whatever thing for almost two years now. And in that time, we've paid down some debt, added a family member, and didn't add any new debt. And that's been really good.

But my clothes were looking really bad, people. And I'm not kidding. FRUMPY.

And yesterday, after finding out my freelance work will be sticking around for awhile (YAY!), SuperDad took me shopping. And $215 later, I have a whole new wardrobe. I bought 5 pairs of pants, 3 skirts, and 9 shirts. Woo! I'm really excited to have nice clothes again, and I think it's worth the little hiccup in the snowball to make sure I don't look like a ragamuffin at work. ;)

Treatsies

For other frugalophiles (pretty sure that's not a word, but it should be):

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=104391485

www.gourmet.com/search/query?keyword=extreme%20frugality

A Snowball's Chance in...

The bad news:

• Due to certain changes (to pay schedule, benefits alterations, and - mostly - losing a freelance gig), our monthly income has been reduced by $551 per month.
• This change reduces our debt snowball from $718 a month to $167 a month.
• Plus, we've had to stop the snowball repeatedly to cover other expenses. Like $1,300 to fix the van. Like to have a baby (the LAST baby, silly, not a NEW baby - yet, ha). Like to reshingle the house this summer. Like the curtains I bought and haven't hung up. Gah.
• Meanwhile, we've run up against our biggest debt yet, the student loans. They currently have a balance of $15,553. It's like chipping away at a granite wall with a fork. A plastic fork.

The good news:

• Boy am I glad we were snowballing that money in the first place! Imagine if I had to cut $551 out of our actual budget.
• I'm also glad we were snowballing at all, since we're in a much better financial situation than we were two years ago.
• Those expenses? The van, the grumpy baby, the curtains? We've cashflowed them. No new debt, and that's a great thing, yes?

While I'd like to be making more/faster progress on paying off the debt, I think it's time to redefine "success" around here. Sometimes, in some seasons of our lives (and the economy), just keeping our heads above water is a success. Glug glug.

Putting the "Fun" Back in "Refund"

Like most people, I really liked getting a big tax refund. Like, the $4000-ish we used to get. Yikes! I wouldn't save that money on my own, I knew.

But then something occurred to me. For what did I use my tax refund each year? Oh, to pay off my credit card. And hey, maybe if I had that money in paycheck every month, I wouldn't need to use my credit card. Huh. Lightbulb moment much? (And just to quickly mention how I wasn't earning any interest by using the Federal government to save my money, but I was PAYING my credit card big interest to use their money. What was THAT?)

So I changed my withholdings so that I wouldn't get a tax refund. Which was scary, honestly.

But then we had another baby. So despite all my planning, we did get a tax refund.

Which is good, considering the $1,500 mechanic bill we're facing. Sigh. But did I have to look for a mechanic that would take a credit card? Nope!

Oh, and something funny, just because it's looking kind of text-y around here.

(You can buy this t-shirt at http://store.theonion.com/t-shirts-c-11.html.)

Tides of Change

I love buying thrifted clothes. Especially baby clothes, clothes that barely get worn before they're outgrown.

But.

Tide, people. WHY always the Tide? Tide detergent makes my kiddos' skin break out in hives and rash and itchiness. And I can wash something three or four times and the Tide still doesn't come out.

Anyone have good ideas for a soak I can use to get all the detergent out of something? Vinegar maybe? (Our kids have no problems with pickle-scented clothes, only detergent.)

:)

Life With Three

Well, since you asked... (okay, no one asked, who am I kidding?). Life with three kiddos under five is going swimmingly. And by that I mean, I'm swimming in noise and messes and love and smoochable cheeks. Awww.

BUT... It's kind of like sticker shock, really. Our life, it's expensive these days. I bought groceries (from the local grocery store thankyouverymuchenoughwiththeguiltalready) for the week for $87. Okay, not TOO bad. But then. Then I "had" to go to Wal-Mart. And when the cashier said, "That will be $98 please," I almost swallowed my tongue. $98! But! I didn't even buy anything!

My shopping list was:
Frozen chicken breast
Taquitos (ahem)
Kid toothpaste (which I didn't buy and have to go to the natural foods store for, ca-ching)
Diapers ($30! When will we switch back to cloth? WHEN?)
Dishwasher detergent
39 gallon garbage bags
Shampoo (we recently tried the baking soda/vinegar thing, and NO. Just, NO.)
Pop (yeah, yeah, I know)
Canola oil
Treats for school (bananas and chocolate milk)
Cat food

Okay, so I maybe could have skipped the taquitos ($6ish) and the diapers ($30) and the pop ($9). Which brings us down to a respectable $62. Oh yeah, and the stuff I bought that wasn't even on the list: clearance tights for E ($3.50 for two pairs), three candy bars ($1.92) and a Mountain Dew (enough with pop already!), and we're down to about $55.

Okay, add the candy bars back in. I'm not made of stone, people. ;)

Favorite Frugal Quotes

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your hands.
I Thesseloanians 4:11

There are givers and takers in this world. The takers eat better, but the givers sleep better.
?

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as sure as haste leads to poverty.
Provers 21:5

Men do not realize how great an income thrift is.
Cicero

Let no debt remain oustanding, except the continuing debt to love one another.
Romans 13:8

Almost any man knows how to earn money, but one in a million knows how to spend it.
Thoreau

Debt Update

Today, I paid off our van loan. Yay!

We'll be taking yet another break from paying down our debt so that we can save up some money to reshingle our roof. Because we do it like this.

After that, we're on to tackle our student loans, which should take 17 1/2 months. Unless I get pregnant again. ;) So. Yeah.

Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway

RonaldJ asked about how we categorize things that aren't "food" into our budget. The truth is, if you can buy it at Wal-Mart, AND it's something we regularly buy (laundry detergent, shampoo, etc.), then it's in our food category. Maybe we shouldn't call it a food category. But I can't get myself to call it a Wal-Mart category, because then I'd have to throw up. (I've found we mostly can't avoid Wal-Mart. The convenience of having to make only one shopping trip when you have three kiddos under five just outweighs everything else. I'm sorry. We do spend a lot of money on gluten-free stuff from various local stores, for whatever that is worth.)

However, things we don't "regularly" buy, would fall into maybe the Home improvement or Clothes/books category. Like the mailbox our mailman probably very much wishes we would finally get around to buying.

But, you know, your mileage may vary.

Who wants to get a song stuck in their head for the rest of the day? You do!

Weekend

We've instituted three new days of the week around here:
1) Qdoba Fridays. Do I need to say more about that? I think not.
2) Pizza Saturdays. I've been working on a pizza crust recipe, tweaking it a little every week. I'll let you know.
3) Mom Shops All By Herself Sundays - BEST! EVER! Yesterday I made it to the local department store, where I bought lots of stuff. My rule is that I never pay more than $5 for an item of clothing for the kids (I'll pay $10 for a dress, which really counts as top and bottom.), and I had lots to choose from yesterday. Though it broke my heart a little to have to hop across the aisle and shop in the Big Boy section for D. Aw, mah baybeee... My favorite brands are Osh Kosh and Carter's, and anything not Hannah Montana. :)

The lovely and talented Sarah of Everyday Gluten Free said, "I'd love to hear how you got from separate checking accounts to where you are today!"

The marriage of one Gluten Free Frugal and one SuperDad is a mysterious and magical thing. HA ahhh ha ha! What I mean by that is, "Uh, I don't really remember."

Back in the day, I felt pretty strongly about each of us taking responsibility for our "own" stuff. I had MY money and he had HIS money and never the twain should meet. We were both making minimum wage or just above. I was a seller of movie tickets and he was an artist of sandwiches. That year, for my birthday, he bought me candy bars and crossword puzzle books. (BTW, do I remember what he bought me last year for my birthday? I do not. But I was thrilled with the candy bars. Actually, who isn't thrilled with candy bars? Crazy people, that's who.)

Time passed. Blah blah. It happened to be that I was making more money that he was. Like, by double. And splitting everything evenly wasn't really working anymore. Plus, I believe now, marriage isn't a "split" thing, it's a "share" thing. There shouldn't be "his" and "mine," there should be "ours" (except the comic books, I don't really want those, but thanx, mmmkay?), and so we put it all together. And that made moving to one income so much easier.

Now SuperDad is a very excellent type of person, and he doesn't spend money on silly things (well, other than comic books), and we all know that I'm ultra cheap a very reasonable shopper. So, that helps us, as far as that goes.

If there's one single thing a couple can do to succeed with money, it's to get on the same page.

And how are things going? A) I wrote a check for the entire cost of my braces (which will be reimbursed through my flex spending account). They asked if they should wait to cash the check, and I said, "Nope. It will be fine." How cool is that? B) It took SuperDad 10 days to pick up a paycheck. I asked what he wanted to do with it, and he said, "Whatever." A paycheck that we don't *need*? What is that?

These things didn't happen because we have so much money (BWAHAHA! As if!), but because we're on top of the money we do have. And that? Rocks!

The end. (Who is sorry she asked? Sarah is! Hee.)

Lessons

When SuperDad and I were in our very first apartment, a block from our college campus, I had a step stool to reach the highest shelves in my kitchen. All the paint had worn off, so I decided that when I got paid, I was going to go to the paint store and have them help me buy what I needed to paint the stool. They showed me the best brushes and the nicest paint trays and the colors and the paints. I can't remember what I spent that day, but by the time I was done at the paint store, I only had $40 of my paycheck left to last two weeks. And I cried and I cried and I cried and SuperDad covered the bills (can you believe we used to have everything separate? To the point where we sent everyone two checks - each for one half of every bill!) and it was okay.

But I never forgot that feeling. I have never since shopped blindly, or bought everything the salesperson said I should. Or simply decided just because I wanted something done, that it should be done, without considering whether we could afford it or not.

So, maybe, after all, that trip to the paint store was the best money I ever spent.


P.S. We've tried some new recipes this week - chicken enchiladas and white chili, and neither blew my socks off, so I'll spare you. :)

Not Perfect - FAR From It!

I hope this blog never gives the impression that I've got it all together. I SO don't. Anyone who has ever met me in real life (or, you know, seen my kitchen floor) knows all about that. Sometimes I think blogs paint such a rosy picture of someone's life (which, for the sake of fostering gratitude, I'm all for!), but sometimes it makes other people feel intimidated, or not good enough, or whatever.

I make mistakes all the time. We go over the budget, ALL the time. I'm definitely not Super Mom! Every day, my to-do list is about twice as long as what I actually accomplish. Some days, I don't even find the time to make a to-do list.

I watch too much TV, and I eat too much junk food, and I spend money on stuff I don't need (fancy coffee drinks much?). I haven't made my bed in months.

BUT. I'm trying. Always, always trying. I want, very much, to be a good mom. I want to live within our means and I want to always have gratitude for my many, many blessings. I never want to think I deserve more than I've earned. And this blog, I hope, is about that struggle.

So thanks, for keeping me honest.

2009

As of yesterday, we are back on the cash budget again. Which means that when I go to a store, I take a certain amount of cash, and I can't spend over that. Which works much better than you'd think. My sister was talking about how you used to see people in the store with those push-button money counters, making sure they didn't spend more than they had. How long has it been since people did that? (I've personally never seen it, if that' says anything.) I declare it time to start again. Except, you know, use a calculator. Or not.



I've increased our grocery budget by $50 for the new year. I've been hearing for awhile that grocery prices were increasing, but have only noticed it in the things we buy in the last six months or so. Plus, our quantities have been increasing as our family has grown.

I'm afraid that our grocery budget is far from "frugal." But we've reached a point where I'd rather save money in other areas, to ensure that we have a fairly loose budget in the food area. It's just less stressful that way. Anyway, it's about $550/month right now, including all toiletries (diapers!) and eating out.

Also, just because I think it's funny, a video for you.

Baby Stuff Worth the Money

The Natural Mommy has a great post up today about how to save money on babies. The funny thing is that, in the area of babies especially, making the most frugal choice is often the best choice for other reasons too (for example, breastfeeding is free but also the best and healthiest choice for your baby).

I've been working on a similar list, of those things that, on baby #3 have proven to be well worth the money that I (or, you know, grandma) spent on them.

1. The Evenflo BabyGo Playard - Maybe any pack n play style of bed would have done just as well, and it doesn't appear they even make the "BabyGo" version anymore, but all three of our kids spent most of their first year spending at least part of the night in ours. I love that it fits nicely in our bedroom and that we can bring it when we travel so that baby always has a familiar place to sleep.
2. Our king-sized bed, for more room when baby does join me in bed. Okay, so we didn't have this one until Baby #3, but it has been NICE. Really nice.
3. Chinese prefolds. When we did (do?) cloth diapering, these are great. The rest of the time, they make awesome burp rags, spill-catchers, face-wipers, changing pads, and whatever else you can think of.
4. The Medela Pump-in-Style. Worth every penny.
5. This. Ha ha, it's hilarious, I know. But on days that I forget it, I never pump as much milk because I can't stand just sitting there. With it, I can read or work or at least change the darn channel on the TV.
6. The Avent Isis manual pump, as a backup. It fits in my purse for airport travel, girl's night out, or any just-in-case time. Okay, so I have a big purse. But still.
7. As for toys, this (or an older version, actually) is the only one that I can say has been pretty universally loved and long-lived (well past the "recommended" ages), both for our first two kids and anyone that comes over.
8. The bedrail. When baby is in our bed, she sleeps between me and the bedrail. It's safer for the baby, but it does make changing the sheets a pain. ;)

In light of a story like this, I think it's worth mentioning that 90% of what we spend on babies unnecessary. But that they have enough of eat? Kind of matters. Duh? And that free hospital formula we have sitting in the cupboard will be making it's way to the food pantry tomorrow.

Financial Update

Final Stats:

I found out I was pregnant in February 2008.

Between February and M's birth in October, we saved $3,779, or roughly 19% of our take-home pay during the period we were saving. My plan was to estimate our lost income and medical expenses and save double that amount.

We spent:

• $900.15 in medical expenses (these include all of the West Nile hospitalization expenses, because I'm not sure how to separate them, plus I think the birth cost less because we'd reached our deductible by that time)
• $1131.95 in lost income for my maternity leave
• $251 in "stuff" to prepare for the baby (okay, obviously we spent more than that, but this is what wasn't cash-flowed out of our normal income)
• $507 just by not being on a budget during my maternity leave - lots of eating out, fancy coffee, etc.

We still have $988 left from what we originally saved. Wa-hoo! The plan? We'll sit on it until after Christmas, to make sure we have enough in case we're surprised with any medical bills or other expenses (plus to cover readjusting back to our normal budget), then use it to pay down debt!

Seriously?

Well, I certainly could be even MORE unfrugal and buy these ridiculous products:

Popper Stoppers - WHAT? I'm supposed to tape down my belly button? You have got to be kidding me.

Hands-Free Car Seat Carrier Carrier - Apparently it's not enough to not touch the baby - we really shouldn't even touch their carrier.

People have asked me occasionally if the baby's room was done yet. It always takes me a few seconds to get what they're talking about. OH, a nursery. Yeah, I don't do that. My kids both spent their first year-ish in our room in a Pack N Play (okay, actually since the thing has done us such great service over these so many years, I should give the actual product name a shout out - it's an Evenflo BabyGo). So, the whole decorating a nursery thing? I've never really done it. But I'm cheap. There's nothing wrong with decorating an adorable nursery, it's just not my thing.

Sorry I've been kind of baby-oriented around here lately. That's just how it goes!

Cloth Diapers

This is probably going to be long and boring and irrelevant to most of my readers. All couple of you. ;)

I've mentioned before that we used cloth diapers for our first baby, both for environmental reasons and financial reasons (and possibly some less noble crunchy-merit-badge reasons). We used Motherease one-size diapers with Motherease covers.* We used a dry pail (we bought one of those large plastic tubs with the snap lid dog food comes in and donated the dog food to the Humane Society). We washed daily and the diapers always came out sparkling clean, even in our 20-year-old washing machine. Everything was great. We reveled in our own awesome.

Then, we moved to a new house and bought a new washing machine. We had a new baby. New baby's skin didn't like the cloth diapering so much (was it gluten? the detergent? skin just sesitive to mositure? I don't know.). We switched to free and clear detergent, and cut out gluten immediately. The rashes cleared up.

HOWEVER, the diapers started stanking up the house, and didn't seem to be coming clean in the wash. We tried a wet pail. We tried vinegar. We tried baking soda. We tried extra wash cycles. We tried line-drying. It really made me wonder if the diapers hadn't ever really come clean and the smells were just masked by the perfumes in the detergent, especially since some of our other laundry wasn't coming that clean either.

We gave up. We switched to disposables. We felt guilty. We got over it.

Now baby #3 is on the way, and all those crunchy mama hormones are back in full force. And I want to give the cloth diapers another shot.

What can I do? Our repairman friend is coming to look at the washer and check that out. But if you have diaper laundry ideas I haven't tried, I'd love to hear!

*We also had a backup supply of very nice Chinese prefolds and nylon Dappi covers that worked just as well and were MUCH cheaper. If you are looking for the cheapest way to effectively cloth diaper, that's what I recommend. Forget trying to use Gerber cloth diapers as diapers. They rock for burp rags though!

**If you're interested, my post "Do Disposable Diapers Contain Gluten?" has been updated.

Long Time No Blog

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately. Inside my head, it sounds mostly like this, "63 days! Only 63 days! It can't be only 63 days! I'm not ready!" Followed shortly by, "63 days? That is FOREVER. I'm already so huge and uncomfortable. How can I possibly get 63 days bigger?"

Also, we spent most of our grocery money these last two weeks on a bed. So our meals have been sparse and frugal and our cupboards are BARE. Today we finished up the last of the canned fruit (fresh fruit long gone) and the eggs and the milk. Tonight we're having macaroni and cheese with the last of the macaroni and the last of the cheese and baked beans from the last of the beans.

I get paid in two days.

At which time, I'll be thinking, "61 days! It can't be only 61 days!"

:)

Is More Always Better?

One of the very best things I've ever read about parenting and frugality came, of course, from the Tightwad Gazette (where else, really?). It was the section about Christmas, and how the more gifts we give the child, the LESS pleasure the child receives from gifts. Oh and doesn't Laura Ingalls Wilder back this up, in her account of how thrilled she was to receive an orange and a store-bought cookie in her Christmas stocking?

I think we all know this is true from our own children, right? One gift is AWESOME. Gift number 10 (or 30)? Well, they couldn't care less by then.

While this isn't exactly the same thing, we decided this summer to take the season off activities. No Kindermusik, no sports, no summer preschool programs, no art classes. In fact, if you can believe it, we haven't even been to the public pool.

What have we been doing? Going to the park. Wading in the baby pool in our back yard. Going to the library. Coloring and painting and drawing and practicing our letters. Running through the sprinkler. Walking around the block. Taking the t-ball set to the baseball diamonds. Going to rummage sales! :)

This week, for the first time this summer, we went to a pool (my sister was in town and we swam at her hotel). The kids had a blast! And last night, for the first time this summer, they rode the restored carousel at the park. And D shouted, "I LOVE this!"

Well, if they love it, wouldn't they love to do it every night? Hm. I don't really know about that.

How special is something if you do it every day? At what point do you stop having gratitude and start having expectation? At what point does something stop being exciting and start being ho-hum?

My parents took me ice skating every winter. I have good memories of those times, of lacing up my skates and going out on the ice, wobbly ankles and all, and coming home to hot chocolate. But I don't really know, honestly, if we went once per winter or once per week. I remember it the same either way.

Would I turn down a season pass to the water park if someone decided that would make a great birthday present for the kids? No way. Do I feel that my kids are missing out if we only go one time this summer instead of 100 times? Nope.

Soon enough, my little ones will be big ones with activities and games and practice and recitals. But for now? Well, I'm happy to watch them run around my back yard. Because it's enough.