Me: Hi! I have been saving money and I would like to give it to you in exchange for fixing my roof! Won't that just work out wonderfully, since that is what you DO for a LIVING? YAY, sunshine! Butterflies! Puppies and clouds!
Contractor #1: [No answer] = You suck, and I don't want your stupid job.
Contractor #2: "This message box is over the size limit." = I suck and everyone is complaining at me.
Contractor #3: "That will be a million gazillion dollars, please." = Ha ha! You can't afford me!
Contractor #4: Measured. Still waiting, and am hopeful on this one! Like a fool.
Equally annoying is the fact that my children have decided that they are only going to eat macaroni and cheese. This is SuperDad's fault, because he makes a simply fantastic macaroni and cheese with DeBole's corn noodles, three kinds of cheese, and ham bits.