Monday, September 8, 2008

Really Off Topic Here

Please feel free to entirely skip this post, because it's just so off topic. It's just been on my mind!
This probably isn’t the right forum for this. Most of you probably don’t care. Almost all of you will probably disagree with me.

My second baby was born naturally. I mean without pain medication of any kind. But I’m definitely not a natural-childbirth freak. Because I’ve been there, on both sides. And childbirth? Is really, really hard. And whatever it takes to get you through, is whatever it takes. Feeling guilty for a year because you needed an epidural to deal with the pain? Not cool.

I believe in natural childbirth *for me* because medicated childbirth didn’t work. For me. Being confined to a bed, unable to move because of the fetal monitor didn’t work. Losing my ability to think clearly because of Nubain didn’t work. An epidural that worked too well and hindered my ability to push didn’t work. Three hours of pushing didn’t work. Forceps worked, in the way that forceps work, but that definitely DIDN’T work for me. The giant episiotomy didn’t work. The stitches didn’t work. The months of pain didn’t work.

That’s how medicated birth went for me. I know it’s not like that for most people. And I know some “incorrigible” people ;) for whom natural childbirth didn’t work.

And I’m totally okay with people making different choices, based on what works for them. Women SHOULD have options, we should have the opportunity to understand the risks and rewards of any choice we’re given, and we should be able to make an informed choice based on that information.

So, I’m not going to advocate for natural childbirth, though I will say that my natural childbirth experience was above and beyond one of the best of my life. And I’m not going to put down medicated childbirth, even though it didn’t work for me. Because your birth? Isn't about me!

But what I would really like? Is to not have to fight a war (while I’m in labor) with the medical establishment just to exercise my *right* to allow my body to work the way God intended.

11 comments:

healthyfishies said...

"But what I would really like? Is to not have to fight a war (while I’m in labor) with the medical establishment just to exercise my *right* to allow my body to work the way God intended."

You GO girl!
That sentence is really how I felt and still feel today about the whole deal. I have never understood why the war has to happen in the midst of what is one of the most precious albeit painful moments in a mommas life.

I am so happy for you and this baby - Rock on! Thanks for sharing your life with us!

Carrie said...

Love this!! I agree with that statement that healthyfishies pointed out. Even though I've never had any children, I really think child birth shouldn't be treated like a disease. This is very well written Tenille!

Milehimama said...

I have found that when you have already had a couple of children, and done it BOTH ways, that the labor staff tends to respect your choices. Especially if you have a coherent conversation before transition, along the lines of "I've had an epidural before, and no meds with my last one. I'll let you know if I change my mind".

I've had a failed spinal, a "good" epidural, and 5 non-medicated (I don't call 'em natural, because it's only NATURAL to want pain relief!).

Christina said...

okay ive been lurking here for a while. and i dont remember how i stumbled upon your blog. im sure it had something to do with the gluten free aspect.
i just have to comment bc it is wonderful to see other women having babies the old fashioned way.
my first birth went exactly like your medical birth the only differance was a vacuum not forceps. my second birth was amazing and mostly natural. the only meds i had were for a queezy stomach which didNT work at all. but there was no pushing no counting and i felt every bit of it. she came right out and it was beautiful. just how God intended. i would do it again in a heartbeat. i will say the HUGE difference for me was recovery. with my medicated birth i had a 3 week long horendeous epidural headache and of course those stiches. my head was in a fog for at least a month afterwards bc of the nubain. with the natural birth it hardly felt like i had a baby afterwards, my body felt great and it didnt feel like it was in "recovery" as before. medicated doesnt work great for me. now i know im not the only one.

Tenille said...

I totally agree with you, Christina! I had the same exact experience. I'd rather be in "useful" pain for a few hours of labor than needless recovery pain for weeks/months afterwards! :)

huddtoo said...

I'll say good luck with your delivery...however that little one needs to get here.

Funny story - I was told by not one, but two good friends to NOT get the pain meds they offer at my hospital, Stadol I think. They said it makes you loopy and sleepy (I think it's supposed to make you sleepy so you can "rest", yet when you sleep and then are in *exactly* the same pain for a contraction, why bother). I say OK, will do. I'm in labor with my daughter, and they offer it, well being my first child and I thought the pain was horrible I was like YES, bring it on! I was loopy, out of it, don't remember anything but my midwife watching tv while I labored and can only recall my baby crying "ma, ma, ma" in the warmer after. It didn't bother me a lot, but I kicked myself for not listening to my friends. They knew from experience.
So, on to my 2nd child. I knew NO Stadol! And I stuck to it. But, then it all seemed easy and I had NOTHING at all. I was so proud of myself. And my recovery...100 times better and faster than the one before which required cutting, stitching, drugs, etc, etc. I took an Advil after my son was born.

BUT, it does depend on the mom, it depends on the baby. Do what is right for YOU. I never wanted the epidural, not that I'm a "natural birth or else" type of person, I'm NOT, I just cringed at the thought of a needle in my back. So, I basically had to tough it out. But, once you start pushing, there isn't really pain, it feels good to push. Well, as good as pushing a watermelon out of a spot that's WAY smaller! hehe

Good luck!!!

Stacey said...

This was an interesting post to me because I have been debating a medicated birth ever since I found out I was pregnant. I have had five deliveries without medication. I can't really say I had any problems and the first four I had "stitches". Of course I hated the contractions and on each delivery only had maybe, 30 minutes of hard labor and pushing, however each time I had major anxiety about that 30 minutes and how strong that pain is. They always say don't push, when the pressure is the greatest and the only relief was to push. I have often thought how nice of a change a c section would be but have only heard horror stories with those. Up until now I had decided to get an epidural. I have never had forceps used or anything like that and I really don't want a long recovery. I know that this may not be the case for me but I'm just not interested in a longer than I'm used to recovery. Seems the majority vote is natural child birth. Thanks for the info!!

Stefan, Sarah and Lukka said...

if you can take the "home birth bias" with a grain of salt, an AWESOME documentary to watch is "The Business of Being Born"--
with my first I had a very agonizing 17 hours and finally gave in to the epidural at 9cm, but with this one, I now have a midwife instead of OBGYN, and am really looking forward to a natural childbirth. I was always scared of the pain, but now I am very determined!

Amnesty said...

I'm going to just give my opinion from the other side. I had three epidurals and three WONDERFUL deliveries. I HATE being pregnant. I LOVE giving birth. I never felt pressured into anything, I didn't have any side effects, I was able to walk around until I didn't want to anymore, and even though my second epi didn't work and I opted for a spinal block, even that was great! The longest I had to push with any of them was my third, and he was nearly 10 lbs. I still only pushed maybe 15 minutes. Only needed 2 stitches with my first, and nothing with the other 2.
Anyway, I don't think there should be any debate, natural vs medicated...it should just be about you and what you want and what you feel comfortable with.
Good luck with a stress free delivery!

Jamie said...

My first pregnancy I went in (being induced due to preclampsia) thinking I can do this drug free. Definitely no drugs that would mess with my brain or make me sleepy. 8 hours in I took an epidural, 17 hours later I had a baby. The second round I went in KNOWING I wanted an epidural because my first experience was HELL and I had to be induced again, this time overdue with an almost 10 lb baby and I am only 5ft tall! Anyway, the nurse wouldn't let me have my epidural. It took me three hours of asking and trying everything in the freaking book for pain relief (walking, shower, jacuzzi) until she finally relented and got the anesthesiologist. Then it took another hour for her to get in the room! I had been through this before and I knew what I wanted and I was so angry that the nurse felt it was her choice to NOT allow me what I wanted (whether that was drugs or no!). During my first labor they asked me a couple of times if I wanted anything... I held off and when I was ready, I said so and that was it! After pregnancy number two and delivery from HELL number two (you don't want to know) I was a scheduled c-section and honestly, for me recovery from surgery was easier than recovery from my labors and deliveries. But I'm far from normal!

Stick to your guns. Let them know when you get there that you intend to do this naturally, that IF you change your mind YOU will let them know and you'd appreciate not being asked or encouraged to take drugs.

Good Luck!
Jamie

freefun0616 said...

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,酒店,

Blog Widget by LinkWithin